Question: What is the title of the book?
Answer: My book is called Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart because most dating books such as The Rules focus on external manipulative things that you can do to attract a mate.

As a psychologist (and previously single woman) I felt that there was a lot of poor dating advice flying around. Best selling dating books were advising women to play universal games and to not be themselves. In the short term this may work, but I could just imagine all those newly married women having their husbands say to them one day, “Who are you?” And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high!

There was nothing that spoke about creating an authentic inner readiness and awareness when it comes to attracting an appropriate life mate.

My book helps each reader understand their dating psychology so they can work through challenges and become clear about how to be successful in dating. I found this to be helpful in my own journey from dating to marriage and it also has helped my students, readers and clients.

Q: Who is the intended audience?
A: Dating from the Inside Out is written for men and women who are looking to find a mate and want to learn about themselves in the process. It gives examples of young singles, singles in mid-life, recently divorced or widowed singles and older singles.

I wrote it for singles of all ages that are successful in other areas of their lives but just can’t seem to choose the right mate. I found that this is often due to inner reasons such as limiting beliefs, past baggage, parental blueprints, self-esteem issues, lack of clarity, etc. and when this energy was shifted, the relationships that manifested were more successful.

Q: What is the book about?
A: My book is about how dating success is derived from the inside out not the outside in. A good relationship with another person is an extension of your ability to love and know yourself.

My book takes each reader on a journey to do this. It is divided into three major sections: Unconscious Dating (looking at old patterns, limiting beliefs, defensive dating styles and parental blueprints that stop you from finding love), Be the Partner You Wish to Attract (owning your strengths, achieve life satisfaction and becoming clear about what you most need in a relationship) and Conscious Dating (helping you take consistent action based on your new realizations and choosing someone who is good for you this time!)

Q: Why are you the best person to write this book?
A: I am the best person to write this book because I’m a unique laboratory of influences.

I am a licensed psychologist (so I know how past patterns can direct the present), a certified coach (so I am trained in helping people take concrete action steps to achieve their goals), I was a single woman who is now married (based on this dating philosophy) and I run a dating school where I coach singles in classes and by phone in all types relationship issues and write a dating column and blog where I answer dating questions.

I am also a Relationship Expert quoted in Seventeen, Glamour, Reader’s Digest, More, and Complete Woman magazine. I have applied this confluence of experience to write this book.

Q: How is this book different from other books on this topic?
A: Dating from the Inside Out is different from other books on this topic in a variety of ways. First, it is written by a psychologist and it discusses ‘Unconscious dating.’

This concept is so important for people to understand and it is different than any other dating book that I’ve seen. What I mean by unconscious dating is that often clients keep picking the same partner again and again, even though they look different on the outside.

For example, if a woman had an unavailable father she will often choose men who are physically or emotionally distant, even though that is not what she consciously wants to create. My book would help her identify her pattern or the ‘relationship hole’ that she keeps falling into. Then she can create a new image of what she would like to create instead and she would begin to consciously work on it. Otherwise, singles are doomed to repeat our past.

My book also counters popular love myths like ‘love at first sight,’ ‘finding love shouldn’t be work’ and ‘love happens when you least expect it.’ It helps singles take consistent action to succeed at their goal of finding a great mate for them.

Q: Is there anything else we should know about this book?
A: What I hear from readers is that they achieve more then finding a great partner when reading Dating from the Inside Out. They often feel better about themselves and have a greater understanding of their challenges, strengths, life goals and values. This process helps them go into a committed relationship in a better emotional place so they can be a great partner and enjoy their life more.

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